Thursday, January 28, 2010

THE MURDER SECRET

(Mario Bianchi, 1988)
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Oh, Murder Secret, how fair art thou? About as fair as the scrapings from the bottom of a McDonald's garbage bin. This "Fulci Presents" rarity is a treat for fans of stilted acting, predictable though nonsensical stories, and necrophilia. Yup, I said it. There's bad acting in this.
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The story is simple: as a boy, Richard Hamilton visits his crazy aunt in an institution. Then his mother kills herself; just why, we never learn. Now Richie is all grown up and has a family of his own. They receive an invitation from Aunt Martha to come stay at her country house for a while, even though no one has heard from her for years. Of course they go! There they meet Thomas "The Caretaker", who informs them that Martha has not yet arrived but said to make themselves comfortable. He also tells them to stay out of the basement. You know where this is goin!
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The story, or rough facsimile thereof, moves at a snail's pace. There are far too many false scares and some of the "spooky" scenes seem to have been inserted to pad it out, as they have no relevance to the rest of the movie! The deaths are pretty lackluster, though gory. I have to spoil at least one surprise; the kid gets his head cut off with a chainsaw! That scene always make me smile! You may be able to track down a used PAL DVD, but it is currently out of print here in North America. Recommended for MST3K fans.
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